What a trip! It’s one thing to travel somewhere, visit friends, and see God’s work in other places, but it’s another thing to travel somewhere and see a great work you are now intimately part of. Reading through the book of John while in India I came across Jesus saying “I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor.” (Jn 4:38) He was speaking to me, and the reality of it hit home as I walked around a beautiful campus with great buildings to house hundreds of bible students and children. I thought about it as I talked with the professors in the college and met one professor’s new little baby girl. How much has already been accomplished by the grace of God and the hard work of others! This ministry was in the works before I was born, and yet God has seen fit to lead me to be part of it. I am humbled to think on it.
And humility is good. I’ve been asking God to teach me humility, and him giving me a better understanding of my youth and inexperience sure helps. Not that God can not use young, inexperience people. He can and does. But he does it through His power and I must always remember that whatever is accomplished through me is by His grace and power, for I have nothing to qualify me for the job ahead.
I read a few biographies of missionaries to India while I was there as well. Amy Carmichael and Ida Scudder to be exact. I am now in the middle of a biography of Bakht Singh, the greatest evangelist in India. Through all three biographies there were two constants that gripped my attention: All three of them were faithful and disciplined in prayer and scripture reading, and saw God work many miracles. All three of them were humble, self-less servants who never liked to be praised for “their” accomplishments for they had a true and deep belief that everything “they” accomplished had been through the grace and power of God. This too is humbling. As I look at my life I don’t see that kind of faithful, disciplined prayer and bible reading as a constant in my life. And I am proud. I like to have people believe that I have accomplished many great things. I like to believe that myself.
These things make me realize that I am not fit for missionary service. In fact, I’m a bit afraid to write this for fear that those who read it will think “Wow, she is so humble for thinking all these things.” But I am not humble, and I need you to ask God, on my behalf, to continually empty me of my pride. Please ask Him to do it as gently as possible. It’s never fun, but it is very necessary.
